My favorite dumb reference
Scientists aren't perfect - they sometimes do dumb things just like the rest of us
An open letter to Todd the CDC Intern, who runs the whole mask fiasco at the CDC, and is probably also the guy who broke the copier
Dear dipshit,
Things are very busy here at the Palo Verde Nuclear Generating Station and Alpaca Ranch, but we just couldn’t let this one alone. It’s an old issue but worth revisiting to remind everyone how worthless you folks at the CDC are.
When you first compiled your idiotic set of references explaining why everyone should be wearing masks, one of those references was a real standout. We don’t mean that in a good way - the alpacas here at the ranch laughed so hard, now they all have little alpaca hernias.
Lack of COVID-19 transmission on an international flight (Schwartz et al. 20201)
This is a single page letter, describing a flight from Guangzhou, China directly to Toronto, Canada on 22 January 2020.
In response to the CMAJ news article, “Communication, transparency key as Canada faces new coronavirus threat,” we would like to share the public health response to the first Canadian cases of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19).
One of the passengers was symptomatic with a dry cough, and his wife became symptomatic next day. Both of them then tested positive for COVID-19. This was a commercial flight, so they had lots of company.
There were approximately 350 passengers on board the airplane.
That’s a lot of people. How many of them got sick with COVID-19?
On Jan. 29, 1 close contact developed symptoms of cough; however, nasopharyngeal and throat swabs were negative for COVID-19. Non-close-contact passengers were advised to self-monitor and contact public health if they became symptomatic; 5 of these passengers became symptomatic, were tested and found by nasopharyngeal and throat swabs to be negative for COVID-19.
No one. No one got COVID-19, after 18 hours locked in a metal tube with the mildly sick guy and his wife.
In our investigation, transmission may have been mitigated by mild symptoms and masking during the flight. However, the lack of secondary cases after prolonged air travel exposure supports droplet transmission, not airborne, as the likely route of spread of the COVID-19.
Let´s review: the sick guy said he wore a mask during the flight. No one got sick (out of 350 people), therefore the authors conclude the likely transmission route of COVID-19 is by droplets, not aerosols.
Since you, Todd, clearly have no brain, we will reiterate something from the article:
NO ONE GOT THE COVID
The authors have drawn a conclusion about the method of a transmission of a disease, based on the lack of observed transmission of that disease. Their evidence is zero evidence. How can they possibly make a determination of how a disease spreads, without actually observing it spread?
The alpacas would like to share a little analogy to help you, Intern Todd, understand how dumb this is:
Our little ranch here in the Arizona desert has no elephant proof fences, or elephant safeguards of any type. We do have glow-in-the-dark alpacas, but that’s an issue for another day.
The alpacas insist that elephants are the only animals on earth who are allergic to alpaca wool, and this is what keeps elephants away from the ranch. As proof of this assertion, they point out that not a single alpaca at the ranch has ever been killed in an elephant stampede.
You would think that to believe this is entirely due to an unproven allergy, one would want evidence of elephant stampedes occurring in Arizona - you know, as a sort of control sample - to prove that such a thing could actually happen here.
But instead the alpacas are going with CDC logic. Not only are they claiming the lack of pachyderm-associated death is entirely due to the protective properties of their wool, they insist that you (Todd) put out an elephant advisory letter, recommending everyone wear genuine alpaca wool masks so they will be protected from both COVID-19 and elephants. Double protection is always better.
I told them that they’re all idiots, which made the alpacas very happy since it means they’re qualified to work at the CDC.
Because you, Todd, are really dumb, we’re going to make this really blunt
If there were TWO flights (and two guys) like this, and on the FIRST flight the guy wore a mask but on the SECOND flight the guy didn’t, and people on the FIRST flight were all fine, but tons of people on the SECOND flight got COVID-19, this might indicate something about masks and/or transmission.
Or alternately, if lots of people seated NEAR the guy got sick, and nobody seated FAR AWAY did, this might tell us something.
But NO ONE except his wife got COVID-19, and presumably she lives with the guy. What are the possibilities here?
His super awesome mask protected everyone during the flight (except his wife)
He just wasn’t infectious during the flight (and his wife became infected at another time)
If the guy wasn’t infectious, he could have basically been licking the other passengers and it wouldn’t have made a difference.
The letter was fine up until the last sentence about droplet transmission, but the authors just couldn’t help themselves. They, like the CDC, feel the need to DO SOMETHING, even if they have no idea what that would be.
In the future, please forward these reference to the alpacas first, so they can double check your work. Alpacas can’t read, but would still manage to do a better job than you are.
Sincerely,
A herd of alpacas
Schwartz KL, Murti M, Finkelstein M, et al. Lack of COVID-19 transmission on an international flight. CMAJ. 2020;192(15):E410. doi:10.1503/cmaj.75015
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32392504/
You had me at 'dear dipshit'!